Let’s Fantasy Book!: WWE Fastlane, Part 2

Posted in The Three Count by - February 20, 2016

The first half of the show is in the can, and so far things are continuing to look up for the good ship, WWE. WWE’s Fastlane is set to become one of the most important events of the year, if not the most important. Feeding hype into this year’s Wrestlemania has never been more dire, especially if we hope to break the current indoor event attendance record.

To recap the first half of our show:

  • Stardust defeats Dolph Ziggler to become No. 1 contender to the WWE United States Championship.

  • Ryback defeats Braun Stroman clean. Braun Stroman will remain off television until Wrestlemania.

  • Adam Rose defeats Neville. This fued will continue into Wrestlemania, however will likely not make it onto the card. Expect to see these two compete at Money in the Bank.

  • The Undertaker challenges AJ Styles.

Chris Jericho vs Dean Ambrose for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

Post Royal Rumble, Chris Jericho has become a larger focus of our television product. We will be using Jericho’s star power to breath some life back into the Intercontinental Championship, much in the same way that Cena did with the United States title. If memory serves you proper, you will remember that Jericho’s sole intent in the Royal Rumble was to embarrass and beat down Dean Ambrose, a point driven home by Jericho eliminating himself after eliminating Ambrose.

On the Raw after the Royal Rumble, Jericho drove this point home by clenching the Intercontinental Championship, and he did it clean. Ambrose was beyond pissed, and he let the world know it. Through vignettes and in ring promos, Ambrose let the world know that there was only one thing on his mind, and that is recapturing “his” title.

Jericho on the other hand does was Jericho does best; he taunts. At this point, Jericho has turned full heel, using the “Best in the World” persona better than anyone before him, even better than, <name redacted>. Through a traditional slow build using genuine heat and hard hitting promo work we come to our mid card Main Event.

Both men are going to be booked incredibly strong, so far as to giving us an intense match that some in the audience may find themselves surprised at. Both men have a history of safe ring work, and Ambrose’s bump taken at last year’s ‘Mania is proof that Ambrose has a high tolerance for hardcore spots. Expect both men to take bumps against the stairs and maybe even a hard shot to across the announce table.

In the end, Ambrose will not be gaining his title back, and there is a very important reason why… Jericho needs the IC title, and the IC title needs Jericho. Ambrose has ten, maybe even fifteen years left in his career, one that will be lined with multiple titles and accolades. Jericho’s unfortunately is coming to an end, and lets face it; the last few years haven’t been kind to The Best in the World.

One final long term run with a high profile belt will be a wonderful, albeit likely final bullet point on a legend’s resume is best for business. This is especially true when it comes to bringing some prestige back to one of the most storied and important titles in our sport.

Winner via dirty pin (feet on the ropes) and still WWE Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho.

Brie Bella vs Becky Lynch for the No.1 Contendership for the WWE Divas Championship

There are big things in store for the Divas Division and the Divas Championship as a whole. With Becky Lynch, Sasha Banks, Charlotte, Paige and later Bayley at the helm, things aren’t looking too shabby for the Divas Division.

Currently, I’m expecting the current campaign of change to culminate in a huge Money in the Bank double Main Event. However, we have to get there first and we are going to do it on the backs of the new blood. Naomi and Tamina are doing great work on Raw and Smackdown. This is talent we will be utilizing at Money in the Bank.

Becky Lynch will take home the gold via submission. Brie Bella has improved in recent week, but she still has a long way to go to compete with the likes of the Four Horsewomen. Bella No2 is capable of putting on great work and will surly do so in this match, but it’s what we have planned for Wrestlemania that will make history.

Lynch takes the mic and proceeds to cut a scathing promo on Charlotte, calling her a disgrace to the title and the Divas division as a whole. Charlotte will appear, butterfly in tow to engage in a mic duel. Lynch says she will “erase” Charlotte from history. That language, that word in particular is very important to our master plan.

Bubba Ray vs Viktor vs The Miz vs Kofi Kingston vs Goldust vs Rusev vs Diego vs Darren Young in a Battle Royal to determine #1 Contender to the WWE Tag Team Championships

This will be, “The Bathroom Match.” for those unfamiliar, The Bathroom match is just what it sounds like, a lackluster match intended to give the fans a break before the rest of the show, or in this case the main event. To rejuvenate a lackluster subset of WWE, we’re going to need the same direction that we’re taking with the Intercontinental Championship.

While Goldust makes for great television and fantastic wrestling, I’m not sold on naming him Tag Team Champion again, at least yet. Like the Miz, he’s simply filler for a match that isn’t exactly teeming with star power. Also of note, with Titus O’Neil out for the attempted rape of Vince McMahon, Darren Young is also a lame duck.

Winner vs Rusev in final two: Bubba Ray Dudley.

Main Event: Bray Wyatt vs Triple H with the Wyatt Family banned at Ringside, No Holds Barred

With Roman Reigns still our Champion and Kevin Owens winning the Royal Rumble, our defacto Wrestlemania main event would stand as KO vs Roman Reigns. However, over the course of the last few Monday Night Raw (MNR) editions, The Advocate for The Beast has made the case to The Authority that Brock Lesnar has never gotten his rematch.

The crowd and The Authority agree that Lesnar is owed his dues. Hunter has never made secret his dislike for Reigns and makes the case that it is best for business that the Triple Threat become a Fatal Four Way. Suddenly, the lights would go dark and our previously scheduled broadcast is interrupted.

Once the technical glitch is fixed, the entire Wyatt Family is standing tall in the ring. With Bray, HHH, Reigns and KO in the ring Hunter tries to no avail to convince the Wyatts to leave. Bray cuts a promo as only Bray can, claiming himself the rightful heir to the coveted spot in the match. After all, as Bray says, “Anyone but you, Roman.”

After a long stare down, Reigns makes the first move and all Hell breaks loose during this MNR main event. The shocker goes to Bray Wyatt for the Sister Abigail hit on the COO. On the go-home Smackdown, Hunter announces the following match for Fastlane. As punishment for Wyatt’s assault and insubordination, a fourth man is indeed being added to the title hunt and this match determines this fourth man.

While this booking seems like a bit of a stretch, it accomplishes everything that makes a good swerve possible. The smart marks will be convinced that Hunter will employ his patented “Golden Shovel” and send Bray to the Island of Misfit Toys while the rest of the audience will be captivated by this once in a lifetime match up.

Similar to the booking with Daniel Bryan, Triple H will be used as sort of a “Sub-boss,” Think of Motaro in Mortal Kombat 3 or Vass Montenegro in Farcry 3. He’s a tough S.O.B, but he’s merely the gatekeeper to a greener pasture, and our final “boss” to be faced at ‘Mania.

I’m confident that Wyatt can handle the kind of rough and tumble match I’d like to see these two engage in. Wyatt will be put through the table in this match, possibly through two as that is always a crowd pleaser. Hunter will attempt to employ his trademark sledge, with Wyatt countering and getting the strike himself. This isn’t going to be one for the kids folks.

In the end, Wyatt will come out on top, much to the delight of the dark side of the fandom. Wyatt will be going to Wrestlemania, in the main event no less. As a swerve of sorts, I believe we’ve succeeded. But more importantly, we’ve created a high profile main event on the backs of new talent. With the card that we’ve put together, we’re sure to break that attendance record.

This post was written by
He is the senior editor at Kulture Shocked. A Nebraska boy born and raised, where he spends most of his time as a writer. When not tearing up Xbox Live, he spends most of his time divided between Magic: The Gathering and his fiancee.
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