Incoming Rant!: The RAW Defense

Posted in The Three Count by - January 31, 2016

You know what really gets my gears grinding? The internet wrestling community and the so called “experts” at those Shits who seem to get some sort of sick sexual pleasure from complaining about everything on presented on WWE television regardless of quality. The purpose of the internet wrestling community as of late seems to morph the show into a politically correct show consisting of those deemed worthy of the praise of R/squaredcircle.

You people are hitmen. Demanding deviation from the status quo and edgier content that, when delivered to you, you send it back to the kitchen because you put too much salt in the soup. This Monday’s Raw gave us everything we’ve been complaining has been lacking in the product and given the reviews WWE’s been receiving you’d have assumed that what was on television was three hours of the following…

It seems none will be content until everything unique and fun is taken out of WWE. The mob burned Adam Rose at the stake, leaving nothing but an unfunny, bland corpse of a man. I’d have though that the bloodlust of this irrational posse had been sated, yet sadly I was incorrect. The torches of the collective soon turned towards the Castle Rhodes, Stardust’s name howled through the moonlight as the mob pounded on the solid oak door sending pounding echos throughout the woods of Connecticut.

Stardust will likely fall, surly as Rose before him. Neither’s creativity or skills in the business were enough for the short sighted collective. The mob is blind, only taking into consideration those deemed worthy enough to execute the will of the horde. The so called anointed “gods” of these heathens? Kevin Owens, Dean Ambrose and Finn Balor. These three men possess some of the greatest talent seen in a wrestling ring and are all undoubtedly future champions. However, as the call for these two to ascend in the company grows ever louder, the mob demands all must be sacrifice all else to get them to the top.

I will take my share of the responsibility for my part in the thrashing that WWE has taken, even if WWE’s storytelling hasn’t been the greatest in the past. Individuals fortunate enough to be in my position tend to use our soapbox to illicit change, particularly when it comes to things that we feel passionate about. I am just as guilty as the next hard headed wrestling fan as decrying WWE’s product as “boring,” and “childish.” Often, WWE Monday Night Raw was front an center in the crosshairs of our targeted criticism.

Yet, I am not afraid to hide behind the false concern of the politically correct crowd who decried Monday Night Raw as a crass, offensive exercise in slut shaming and homophobia. Apparently the world at large and I were watching two completely different shows as I found Raw to contain everything I want from a WWE product.

Now, the third hour was admittedly weak… very weak when compared to the two hours that preceded it. Perhaps as I’m not a soft skinned liberal PC thug and can handle content often found in a PG-13 rated movie, I was able to have a hardy belly laugh as The Rock regaled us with tales of the “One Legged Russian Vacuum Cleaner”.

Of course, this edition of Raw wasn’t without it’s problems. The tag team Diva’s match was hardly worth watching, if only to see Nattie in action. The Main Event was not only a bad match, but one that we’ve been watching ad nauseum for what seems like an eternity and the commentary was… abysmal.

For what it’s worth, The Rock’s promo also belongs on the list of segments where the show goes off the rails, however not for the reasons the internet would have you believe. Rather, The Rock’s attitude of presenting the segment as though he were conducting the intermission at a local rock concert felt out of place in a wrestling program. This is especially true when it comes on the heels of his laugh out loud funny tear down of The Miz, Lana and Big Show.

Wrestling represents different things to different people. For some, wrestling is a portrayal of ring science and tight choreography. For others, myself included, wrestling is a perfect mix of theater and sport. It’s a soap opera for men. However, the unfortunate truth cuts deep into a problem that is currently tearing this country apart, and that is that being offensive is often times funny.

Humor by nature is bizarre and uncomfortable, the absence of both leads to reality. Reality as we all know by nature is never funny or comfortable, often teetering on the edge of unbearable. By now, we in the internet wrestling community have become with the brand of humor WWE is capable of producing. If your desire is for WWE’s brand of programming to convert to a politically correct program devoid of any sort of controversy or conflict, I’d kindly request you turn your dial to the Disney Channel, reach for your bottle of Jergens and leave the rest of us alone.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I take great joy in offense and off color humor, all the more reason I found great joy in this week’s Raw. Considering that two of my favorite wrestlers of all time competed in a WWE ring for the first time and I’m defending a part timer basically calling a woman a whore in front of her husband, the impression that WWE’s Raw left on me keeps me excited for the future of the product.

This post was written by

He is the senior editor at Kulture Shocked. A Nebraska boy born and raised, where he spends most of his time as a writer. When not tearing up Xbox Live, he spends most of his time divided between Magic: The Gathering and his fiancee.

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