Raw’s Top Five 7/13/15: The Invasion Has Begun

Posted in The Three Count by - July 16, 2015

I changed the title of my weekly recap of Monday Night Raw to “Raw’s Top Five” but recently I’ve found it harder and harder each week to find five things worth talking about. That’s a real disappointment, since not only is Raw three hours long, but it normally features eleven to twelve segments. That means that the show isn’t even half worth watching, but I digress, lets get onto the show. 

NXT Divas Invade

It should come as no surprise to anyone who reads my weekly recap that I don’t think too highly of the way the WWE has booked the Divas on the main roster. They have booked them in feuds that go nowhere, with champions who have held the title for long lengths of time for no discernible reason. However, that may have all changed after last evening’s NXT Diva invasion. Stephanie McMahon ushered in the arrivals of Charlotte, Becky Lynch, and Sasha Banks to the main roster, taunting the current Divas. NXT’s newest arrivals would take it straight to Team Bella, putting all three in submission holds in the center of the ring. I can’t wait to see how this storyline goes, but I can honestly say that I might be excited about the Divas division for the first time since I started watching wrestling. 

Suplex City Will Burn

As I mentioned last week, there is no one who can cut a promo like Paul Heyman. That being said, WWE needs to stop retreading the same opening segment. Everybody knows that Seth Rollins is a chickenshit heel who will probably walk away with the title this week at Battleground through some sort of heel tactic. We also all know that Lesnar is going to destroy Rollins, but come up short because of the Authority. We’ve seen it more times than we can count, and while Heyman still cuts a mean promo, it just doesn’t have the same effect when we know what the outcome will be. 

Reigns Ambushes Wyatt

After weeks of taking punishment, both mental and physical, Reigns would finally ambush Wyatt as he came down the ring to fight Ambrose. I’m still not sold on the Reigns character, or lack there of, but I am excited to see the match between him and Wyatt this Sunday. Wyatt is one of my favorite heels on the roster, even if his shtick is a little played out at this point, and I know that he can carry Reigns through a fantastic match.  

Cesaro vs Owens vs Rusev

Kevin Owens is my favorite performer in the WWE right now with no comparison; he is dynamic, brutish, and a total badass. While I hope and pray that he faces Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania 32, I’d take Owens versus a punching bag as long as Owens tore the punching bag apart with his bare hands. While the match itself wasn’t of real note, as Owens would walk out once he realized that he would still be facing Cena on Sunday. It did setup a feud between him, Rusev, and Cesaro after he, hopefully, wins the title off of Cena.

Another Typical Contract Signing

Good god, when will WWE realize that whenever there is a contract signing, we all know that it will end in shenanigans. One time, just once, I’d love to see it end with the two men just signing the contract and shaking hands instead of hiding axe handles under the contract-signing table. Since that will never happen, I’ll settle for Lesnar completely destroying Rollins and Kane. He even went so far as to “break” Kane’s ankle. Rollins would say he was going to rip off Lesnar’s sword tattoo and defeat him with it. I can’t wait for the match this weekend, but I really hope that Lesnar wins, even though I know he won’t.  

Aside from the NXT Divas invading, this week’s Raw was pretty forgettable, and repetitive. I really hope Battleground this weekend redeems the last couple weeks of Raws and Smackdowns. I know that won’t happen, but a guy can hope right?

Raw Rating: 2 out of 5 Axe Handles

This post was written by

Chris Stachiw is the Editor-in-Chief and co-host of the Kulturecast. He’s a native Californian with a penchant for sarcasm and a taste for the cinematic bizarre. You’ll often find him wandering the wasteland of Nebraska searching for the meaning of life and possibly another rare Pokemon.

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