WWE SmackDown Review 3/19/2015: Charlie Bit Me!

Posted in The Three Count by - March 21, 2015

Thursday Night SmackDown was yet another example of the mediocre product that WWE is giving us. There was truely only one entertaining match this past Thursday night, and it was the Intercontinental Gauntlet Match. Other than that, we basically had an hour and a half of pure garbage and mediocrity. Oh, and Dean Ambrose, the Lunatic Fringe, straight up bites Luke Harpers thumb to get out of a submission. Other than that, pure garbage and mediocrity tonight.

Hell Yes Brock Lesnar Promo

I’m sorry… I was confused for a second.

We’re now a day removed from being only ONE WEEK from the 4 hour fuckfest that will be Wrestlemania 31, and guess what, we still haven’t seen any face time for Lesnar and Roman Reigns. What happened to wrestlers beefing before big matches and promoing the shit out of it in pure spectacle before a Pay-Per-View?

Now that that’s off my chest let’s get to the bullshit matches that were on the card and yes, I’m skipping the Mark Henry sell out to Reigns and The Authority promo for the main event Tag Team match…

Paige versus Brie Bella

This Diva match was quick and excellent fuel for the AJ Lee/Paige v The Bella Twins match that’s slated for Wrestlemania. Personally I’m over the Bella Twins and seeing Brie take a simple quick loss is just nice.

I actually can’t wait for the AJ Lee/Paige v The Bella Twins match. I think it will be the first Diva’s match in a while that has some serious substance to it, and I expect to see fantastic displays from both sides but with a victory by AJ Lee & Paige.

Intercontinental Contender Gauntlet Match

This was easily the best match of the night, even with Bad News Barrett’s bullshit at the very end. I hate it when anyone comes out to mess with people after they’ve been through a grueling ordeal. Barrett trying to assert a little dominance over Dolph Ziggler and Daniel Bryan was pretty shady and 100% lame.

Bryan and Ziggler are easily some of my favorite wrestlers right now and I would love to see a match between them when they’re not going through a gauntlet match. I’m not going to talk at length for this match. This is a must see event and you can see the best of it below.

 6-Being Interspecies Match?

I said last week that as much as the WWE wants to attempt to make Los Matadores relevant as we approach Wrestlemania, it’s not going to work. To be honest this match was fairly lame and gimicky. Yes, El Torito had flares of brilliance, but that’s not hard versus Tyson Kidd, Cesaro & Natalya.

The fact that Natalya even pulled off the win was pretty gimicky in itself. She essentially power bombed El Torito then held his tiny ass down for the cover. It was obviously scripted to make Kidd & Cesaro look useless.

Roman Reigns & Mark Henry v Seth Rollins & Kane

So of course something happens to The World’s Strongest Man before his tag team match with Reigns prior to the match even starting. Instead of giving the WWE Universe what it wants by putting Reigns and Lesnar in the ring and letting them beat on each other, a little and promo before the World Heavy Weight Title match, we get displays of how unstoppable Reings is.

Of course Reigns wins. If you thought or were even worried otherwise, you must think wrestling is real and unscripted.

Surprise Assault on Seth Rollins

Despite The Authority’s best efforts (I mean, they were relying on J&J Security… Come on…) the Apex Predator found his way into the ring and laid it onto Seth Rollins. 

This was also a nice RKO-fest by Orton. As he came into the ring and laid the ground and pound you see to the right, J&J Security and all the floor personnel they had came rushing to the ring, and, of course, it was RKO after RKO.

Rollins was able to escape with his tail between his legs. The last few brawls we’ve seen between Rollins and Orton have ended in Rollins running away with a look of pure fear on his face. What is Rollins going to do come Wrestlemania? I hate that The Authority has picked Rollins to be the face of the WWE, cause we see talent from Rollins every once in a while. I think under different circumstances Rollins would earn his place and have a more organic fan base, similar to Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, or even Dean Ambrose.

Final Match Rating: 1 out of 5 shitty Jerry “The King” Lawler t-shirts

[Images via WWE.com]

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